15 Gentle Ways to Help Kids Cope with Holiday Overstimulation

The holiday season is coming closer and many of us are starting with preparations. Christmas, while magical and exciting, can often be overwhelming for children. The abundance of lights, sounds, activities, and changes in routine can lead to overstimulation and stress. As parents, it's crucial to recognize these challenges and employ gentle parenting techniques to help our children navigate this busy time.

Children might express their feelings in various ways during the holiday season. For example:

• Feeling anxious about meeting unfamiliar relatives or attending large gatherings

• Expressing irritability or having more frequent meltdowns due to changes in routine

• Complaining of physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches, which can be manifestations of stress

• Showing signs of sensory overload, such as covering their ears in noisy environments or becoming upset by bright holiday lights

• Exhibiting clingy behavior or separation anxiety when faced with new situations

Here are 15 strategies to support your child through holiday overstimulation:

1. Create a Calm Space

Designate a quiet area in your home where children can retreat when feeling overwhelmed. This "calm corner" should include soft pillows, blankets, and soothing activities like coloring books or quiet toys. Teach your child that it's okay to use this space whenever they need a moment of peace.

2. Establish a Consistent Routine

While the holidays often disrupt our normal schedules, try to maintain regular meal and bedtime routines as much as possible.

This can be challenging when there are other people involved in setting schedules, but it's important to communicate your needs. Explain to family and friends that maintaining some consistency helps your child feel secure.

When possible, plan gatherings and activities around your child's usual routine. If disruptions are unavoidable, try to return to the normal schedule as soon as you can. Consistency in these key areas can provide a sense of security and stability for children amidst the holiday chaos.

3. Prepare for Changes

When changes to the routine are necessary, prepare your child in advance. Discuss upcoming events and how they might affect the usual schedule. This preparation can help your child feel more in control and less anxious about changes.

However, it's important to be flexible. Your child might not want to stick to the normal routine during the holidays, preferring to join in all the excitement. In such cases, it's okay to make exceptions.

The regular schedule might be temporarily adjusted to accommodate the special nature of the holiday season. The key is to find a balance between structure and flexibility that works for your family.

4. Use Visual Schedules

Create a visual calendar or schedule of holiday events and activities. This helps children anticipate and prepare for upcoming events, reducing anxiety about the unknown.

For younger children, use simple pictures or symbols to represent different activities. For older children, a more detailed written schedule might be appropriate. Review the schedule together regularly, allowing your child to ask questions and express any concerns.

This visual aid can serve as a reference point throughout the holiday season, helping your child feel more in control and less overwhelmed by the multitude of events and changes in routine.

5. Encourage Sensory Breaks

Teach your child to recognize signs of overstimulation, such as feeling irritable, having difficulty concentrating, or experiencing physical discomfort. Help them identify these feelings and encourage them to communicate when they need a break. For younger children, you might use a visual aid like a "feelings thermometer" to help them express their level of overwhelm.

Encourage your child to communicate their needs by saying something like, "I need a quiet moment" or "Can I have my headphones, please?" This empowers them to take an active role in managing their own sensory needs.

Remember that sensory preferences can change over time, so be open to trying different tools and techniques as your child grows. What works one year might not be as effective the next, so stay flexible and attentive to your child's evolving needs.

Here are some examples of helpful tools: Noise-cancelling headphones can help in loud environments, fidget toys can provide a focusing activity and weighted blankets can offer comforting pressure for some children.

6. Limit Screen Time

While it might be tempting to use screens as a distraction while you are doing some festive preparations, excessive screen time can contribute to overstimulation. Instead, encourage calming activities like reading a book together, doing a quiet craft or listening to gentle music.

7. Practice Empathetic Listening

Create a safe space for your child to express their feelings about holiday stress. Validate their emotions and avoid dismissing their concerns. Phrases like "I understand this feels overwhelming" can help your child feel heard and supported.

After acknowledging their feelings, you might say something like, "Let's think about what we can do to make this situation better for you." This approach not only shows understanding but also empowers your child to be part of the solution.

Some examples of helpful phrases could be:

• "What do you think would help you feel calmer right now?"

• "Would you like to take a break in our quiet corner for a few minutes?"

• "Let's take some deep breaths together and see if that helps."

By combining empathy with problem-solving, you're teaching your child valuable emotional regulation skills that will serve them well beyond the holiday season.

8. Plan Downtime

Amidst the flurry of holiday activities, schedule regular breaks. This downtime allows children to decompress and recharge. It could be as simple as a quiet hour at home between events or a day with no planned activities.

9. Use Gentle Transitions

Transitions between activities can be particularly challenging for overstimulated children. Give ample warning before changes and use calming techniques to ease the shift.

Here are some examples of gentle transitions and calming techniques:

• Use a visual timer to show how much time is left before a change

• Play a specific "transition song" that signals it's time to move to a new activity

• Use a soft bell or chime to gently alert children of upcoming changes

• Create a simple rhyme or chant that you repeat before transitions

• Offer a transitional object, like a special stuffed animal, that helps comfort the child during changes

• Use "first-then" statements to help children understand the sequence of events (e.g., "First we'll finish this game, then we'll have dinner")

Remember to always communicate changes calmly and positively, giving your child time to process the information.

10. Model Self-Care

Children learn by example. Demonstrate healthy coping mechanisms by taking care of your own needs and discussing the importance of self-care. This might involve taking deep breaths when you feel stressed or explaining why you're taking a moment of quiet time.

11. Create "Exit Strategies"

Establish a signal or code word that your child can use when they feel overwhelmed and need to leave a situation. This empowers them to recognize and communicate their limits, an important skill for emotional regulation.

For example, you could establish a discreet hand signal like tugging on an earlobe, or use a code phrase such as "I need some fresh air" or "Can we check on Fluffy?" (if there is a pet to check on).

Another option could be a small object, like a red card or a special bracelet, that the child can show you when they're feeling overwhelmed. Make sure to practice using these signals at home so your child feels comfortable employing them in social situations.

12. Prioritize Sleep

Insufficient sleep can lead to various issues during the holiday season. Children may become more irritable, have difficulty regulating their emotions, or struggle to focus during activities.

For example, a child who hasn't had enough sleep might have a meltdown during a family gathering, become overwhelmed more easily by holiday lights and sounds, or have trouble enjoying special events due to fatigue. They may also be more prone to tantrums, less cooperative during holiday preparations, or struggle with following instructions.

Additionally, lack of sleep can weaken the immune system, potentially leading to illness during the festive period.

Adequate sleep is crucial for managing emotions and stress. Stick to regular bedtimes as much as possible and maintain a calming bedtime routine. If late nights are unavoidable, try to allow for catch-up sleep the next day.

13. Offer Choices

Give children some control over their holiday experience by offering limited choices. This sense of autonomy can reduce feelings of being overwhelmed.

Here are some examples of choices you could offer your child during the holiday season:

• Choosing which holiday movie to watch for family movie night

• Deciding between two different holiday crafts to make

• Picking out their outfit for a holiday gathering

• Choosing which cookie recipe to bake together

• Deciding on a holiday-themed bedtime story

• Selecting which decorations to put up in their room

• Choosing between ice skating or building a snowman (weather permitting)

Remember to keep the choices limited to two or three options to avoid overwhelming your child. This approach gives them a sense of control while still maintaining structure.

14. Practice Gratitude

Incorporate daily gratitude practices to help shift focus from overwhelming stimuli to positive aspects of the holiday season. This could be as simple as sharing one thing you're thankful for each day at dinner time.

Here are some examples of things you might share during a gratitude practice:

• "I'm thankful for the warm cocoa we had this morning."

• "I appreciate how pretty our Christmas tree looks with all the lights."

• "I'm grateful for the time we get to spend together as a family during the holidays."

• "I'm thankful for the delicious smell of cookies baking in the oven."

• "I appreciate the cozy blanket that keeps me warm on cold winter nights."

Encourage your children to share their own unique gratitudes, no matter how small they might seem. This practice can help shift focus to the positive aspects of the holiday season and reduce feelings of overwhelm.

15. Use Social Stories

Create simple narratives that explain holiday events and potential challenges. These social stories can help children mentally prepare for new experiences, reducing anxiety and overstimulation when the events actually occur.

Conclusion

Remember, every child is unique and may respond differently to these strategies. Pay attention to what works best for your child and be patient as you both navigate the holiday season together. By implementing these gentle parenting techniques, you can help create a more peaceful and enjoyable holiday experience for the whole family.

Most importantly, remind yourself and your child that it's okay to take breaks, say no to some invitations, and prioritize your family's well-being during this busy season. The holidays are about joy and connection, and with these strategies, you can foster those feelings while managing overstimulation.